Because I Said So!!! Mom Knows Best!

Date: 01/14/2010
Stress Level: UHG!
New Grey hairs added: 13
Ya know
Ya know
yaknowwwwwwwwwwww.
I really thought I wanted a little girl. They are sugar and
spice and everything nice, right?
WRONG
This is a demon child. I do not even stretch the truth a little
bit here. Rowan is 6 months old and has got to be in everything.
She is too darn smart for her own good and all I do is feel
like a bad Mom for no way can I keep up with her. Here is
what happened today, this is a typical day too.................
I got up at 6 am. Andrew needs to be up and moving by
6:45 and I have to start waking him at 6, the threats start
at 6:15, the screaming at 6:30 and the promise of death
starts at 6:50. That is the last straw and he knows it and
comes up from the cave at that point. Once every two
weeks or so I can taunt him with a really good breakfast
but if I try that more often he screams cereal is fine up
the stairs and goes back to sleep. Even less often I can
trick him and act all panicked and tell him we over slept
and he runs up the stairs and right to the shower without
looking at a clock and I get to smile but I need to wait a
month or so before I try that again. Anyway, I get up the boy
and by the time I get back up stairs Rowan is laying there
smiling and kicken her feet. Sometimes she gets up at
6 with me but most days she lays there for a half hour
or so planning her day and how best to torture me.
I scoop her and get her dressed and take her for breakfast
where she promptly grabs the spoon and rips it away and
proceeds to make a mess and I grab the back up spoon
( I can be taught) and try to shove a few bites in before
she flat out ignores me. Next I contemplate dragging the
hose in the house to spray her down while she bangs on
the tray demanding release. I dare not leave to grab a towel
for I did once, just once a few days ago and Miss 6 Months
who only discovered her hands a month ago decided to
pull herself up and over the chair and PLOOP, onto the floor.
I am so lucky I have this huge Wool really thick Shag rug over
my Carpet in the dinning room so its double layered and all
she did was get a little scared. You would think she would
learn, nope, every day she tests her ( now belted) reach and
tries again. She reminds me of the Raptors in Jurassic Park
testing the fence.
Andrew comes down from the shower and teases her so
she cries then laughs and goes to his room to change and I
take her to her room to change her again for she wrecked
outfit number one with breakfast, even if she was wearing
a body bib. I am once again shocked she is soaking in less
then an hour of being awake and change her and bring her
down to play area one in the middle of the living room.
I start to make a to do list and she promptly soils her new
diaper. I take her up the stairs to again change her
and she is screaming the whole way for like I told you
guys before, one speck of do do and Rowan is worse then
the first Saturday of the month at 1 Pm and living next
to the siren. I dry tears and bring her back and put her
in her play zone.
She does Do Do again.
I repeat last step and back to the circle
She cries
I scoop her and sit her next to me
she grabs my pen and rips my paper
I put her on the floor
she cries
I sit with her on the floor and show her that her toys
are fun. She only wants the toys I have in my hand
and takes them.
I pick up another
she takes it
I pick up yet another
she takes it
I quit and try to finish my list
she takes it.
I cry
she doesn't care
I pry what is left of the list out of her mouth and
take her back to my room and put her in play zone
2 and turn on her I can read video. I try to work on
the blog and she is laughing and kicking her arms and
legs like a nut case. I wonder if anything in the house
has too much lead paint and she doesn't eat breakfast
for she has been snacking on molding all night.
I look at her
she smiles and kicks her arms and legs.
I sigh
By the time the end song to the video is playing I have
typed maybe three words and taped my list back together
and laid it out to dry. She immediately lets me know she is
bored and I put her in the swing. I gather laundry while she
bangs on tray of the swing and babbles. I know this is
code for I am ready to cry. I turn on Sesame Street
and catch Elmo's World. We both watch. Lead paint was
acceptable when I was a child. After Elmo I change her
again and take her back to zone 1 and place every toy
close to her, PBS on TV and make sure there is nothing
on the floor around her in a 20 foot radius.
I run to the basement ( RUN) and throw the clothes
in as fast as I can. One minute 8 second later I am
back at Zone one and she is crying.
I put her back in the highchair and try to feed her lunch.
Where she promptly grabs the spoon, I let her and Guzzel
Coffee. She is having a blast and I wonder how much it
would cost to have her Laminated so she would be
more easy to clean. I put on outfit 3 and we spend an
hour or so in her room playing and then I try to
get her to take a nap.
She cries
I scoop her and sit her next to me
she cries
I put her on the floor in play area number 3
she cries
I take her in my room and lay on the bed, Play area
number 4, where she promptly starts the
arm kicking and leg kicking again.
I sing Lullaby's
Off Key
She ignores me and flails.
I tell her stories, all with happy endings of Baby
Sleeping and Mommy smiling
She ignores me and flails
I lay right next to her and she grabs my nose
I cry
She laughs and does it again
and again
and again
and again
I give up on the nap and pray it is almost 3 so
Andrew will be home.When he gets home I beg
him to sit with her for a bit and then he can skip
his Chores. She is having a blast for she loves
her brother and I leave the room
she cries.
I take her with me in the kitchen in her walker and
we make dinner.
I feed her and she throws it at me,
Outfit 4
I try the nap again she points and laughs
I cry
I guzzel 32nd pot of Coffee.
I sit next to her and give in and start to play with
her and she topples over
Asleep
I tip toe away
Phone rings ( thanks Mom)
she cries
I cry
I give her a treat to calm her and she mashes
it in her ear
I cry
Outfit 5
I beg her to sleep
She laughs
she laughs
Andrew laughs
I cry
I put her in Jammie's, outfit 6
I sing to her and rock her and then sit her on my
bed and surround her with toys. She plays.
I wake up ten minutes later
She has my nose
I cry
She cries
I rock her
she pulls my hair and cries
I sing and do everything I can to wear her out
and an hour or so later she drifts off.
I sneak to the computer
She cries.
I repeat above and try again.
Thank you Jesus
It is now 11 and I am bone tired and I put at
least 2 hours on the Blog
I crawl into bed
Lay down
45 minutes later
It is now 6 am and the alarm is going off
I cry and do it all over again
Moral of the Day: When you wake up save yourself
a lot of time and just put on outfit number 6!