Because I Said So!!! Mom Knows Best!

Date: 12/02/09
Stress Level: Up there.
New Grey hairs added: 5






I must have the worlds most insane dog.
I say that because its true and most of you would
have kicked my dog to the curb by now. She is
that crazy.


For starters she has eaten my car. Um, I am not
stretching the truth here either. She has torn the
whole dashboard to shreds. What started out as a
cute little tick when she was a puppy has turned into
an obsession. When ever the windshield wipers go
of she would freak out. Well we thought that was cute.
And it was, at least until she started taking chunks out
of my dash board. Now from the passenger door to the
steering wheel is nothing but torn foam.


He freak out sessions have gotten so intense that
she has even bit the windshield so hard she has left
teeth prints. In the Glass, real honest to God teeth
marks. Not only in my car but in Johns truck as well.
Let me tell you that didn't go over very well.


I am embarrassed to go anywhere with her for if
you leave her in the car she freaks out. I was in line
with John one day at Secretary of State and it was like
60 degree's outside and as I am waiting a person comes
in an loudly announces that a dog is suffering so bad in
a car out in the parking lot that he is going to call the
Police if the owner doesn't help it.


Now it wasn't hot, the windows were cracked and she
was in no more danger then she would have been if I left
her at home but I had to run out to the car and leave for
fear of the Police rescuing my insane dog. They would have
broken a window, taken her to the pound and then I would
have had the pound calling me to please come and get
her before she drives them nuts.


She also tries to run away from home. On a regular
basis. Whenever we order Pizza or any other food item
that is delivered she has discovered that she can run out
the door and hop in their open car door and escape. She
has also ran to neighbors houses. In fact she knows more
of our neighbors then I do and I have lived here 9 years
to her 4. That also does not always go over so well.

Two doors down from me is an older lady who has cats
and more then a few of them and she also feeds the
neighborhood cats and squirrels. Well one morning she
had her door cracked to feed the Squirrels and Boo, our
dog escaped and ran right into her house. Now she is
from some little country in Europe some where and speaks
broken English at best and all I heard was


CRASH


BAM


"Oh no, you little monster"


Cat Screech


Smash


"Bad doggie, you crazy"


Smash


CAT HOWL


"Crazy bad doggie, Crazy I tell you"


I could not apologize enough. Now my next store
neighbor whom I share a porch with in out condos
encourages Boos Behavior and talks to her through
the walls and raps on the windows. This has resulted
in Boo eating my blinds as well as the car. Every other
blind has Boo marks and it cracked in the front window.
I could go on and on with her antics and I am sure you will
hear more as time goes on but I am sooooooo tired
right now for she is in heat and I am the object of her
desire. Every-time I start to drift off to sleep she
wakes me with her, er, um, a, AMOROUS ways.
Most of the time she has me pinned so I can't get
up.


Now I could understand if she was a large
dog but she is 12 pounds and mostly fur. 12 pounds
of Kinetic energy that could pull a semi. She is
also 12 pounds of pure Love. Speaking of that
I am going to try and get some sleep for she is
staring John down with that certain look and I
might be off the hook for a while!





Moral of the Day: It is not the size of the
dog but the determination!